And the beat goes on...

It is amazing to me how much I've learned about myself in the last year. I have found a confidence that was once hidden and a voice that had been silenced for so long. We are not given many chances to experience life, especially if we are stuck in a routine and don't deviate to other paths.  Get up, go to work/school, go to bed, rinse and repeat. Some folks do this for 80+ years and call it a life. But was it?  You are given one shot at this world, was what you made of it worth it?

I have learned, this past year especially, that you are the only person who can be the director of your life. Sure, circumstances influence what happens to us, people come and go but, we are ultimately the directors. I can choose to wake up and have a terrible day and I can also choose to have a fantastic day. I can choose how the words of others affect me. Not one person can make us feel a certain way, it's us allowing them to have that control in our lives. Life is too short to allow others to dictate your feelings.

I have found the confidence to not allow others to have a say in how I feel. I have found the voice to be different. I don't always have to agree with what others are saying and that's okay. We shouldn't be agreeable to everything and not question others. How else are we supposed to learn or grow? The voice that I found has allowed me to share my thoughts and opinions when I disagree with something, but doing it in a respectful and tactful way.

If I have learned one thing in nursing school, it would be to really, really live day to day. Not taking things for granted and living in the moment.

I am somewhat "Type A" in that I make lots of lists. I make lists of lists and then redo them again. I would write down everything that needed to be done by next week and get totally flustered and extremely stressed. Only when  I learned to focus on one day at a time, did I truly feel at ease and could be present for other things and not be so chaotically stressed.

The truth is, life isn't easy...I know that's extremely cliche but hear me out. Life isn't always fair and it gets tough almost as much as it doesn't. The problem with the people of 2014, is that we all walk around acting like this place owes us something. We get disappointed a lot due to this type of thinking.  If we continue to live our lives thinking people owe us something, or that bad things may happen so lets live in a bubble, are we getting the most of what our one life has to offer? If we live our lives worried, stressed and ignorant will we be satisfied when the day is done and the sun is gone?
When we quit blaming others for our unsuccessful attempts and we stop looking at every bad thing that has happened to us in the last 24 hours, does not our outlook change? When all the bad isn't given the acknowledgement it wants, are we not left with a silver lining? I saw a post a while back that said something like, stop complaining for 24 hours and see the changes your life will undergo.

This world continues to move on whether we are focusing on the bad things that may or may not happen or whether we are seeking, always, that silver lining. How you spend the 86,400 seconds we are given in a day is truly yours to choose. It will go by just the same when we are happy as when we are sad. Do not fall into a routine that you don't veer from for 70 years and as the sun goes down on your last day, call it a good life.
Truly focus your attention on doing what you love, pursing every dream imaginable, seeking happiness and surrounding yourself with the ones you love most.

Find that confidence to know what you want and pursue it fiercely. Allow the voice within you to speak and not just agree. The beat goes on whether we want it to or not.

Find what makes you happy and pursue it!

Out with the old, in with the new...

As you probably have noticed (or maybe not), my blog has a totally new look. I have changed basically everything, even the name. I feel like I created this blog for a reason that isn't there any longer. I am not tied down to a devastation in my life anymore nor do I want to go back there. I am excited to brighten things up a bit!

I also decided to change the name. Life, Love and Things Between still is an important aspect of this blog. Learning to do life together more versus trying to do it all alone is still a goal, and trying to love as deep as the ocean is also a great thing. But I wasn't focusing on the "Things Between" portion. Many times I've started blog posts and ended up deleting them because I felt as if they didn't fit into what I was trying to make this blog about. SO, I changed the name to La Dee Dah (LDD). LDD to me means, I am human, I am trying to live this life to the best of my ablity, yes I'll screw up but it's not the end. LDD means laughter and fun, silly randoms and memories.

I was taking myself to seriously and I have realized that life is too short to always be serious. I have begun to stop and notice the small things (another posting on this in the future). The importance of seeing vs looking is an incredible thing to discover. Some of us live our lives on auto pilot and miss out on so many things and opportunities.

As we were cleaning my father in laws house today and decluttering it, it dawned on me, we have the power to introduce and promote happiness in our lives. Some of us need to work on decluttering our own lives. Whether it be literal or figurative. Decluttering our "friends" is something we could all benefit from and getting rid of all the negativity that will suck you dry. This has helped me so much in my own life. Other peoples negativity began to be like a disease in acquired and it was wearing me out. I was no longer going to let other people have rein over my happiness in this short life.

I saw this powerful quote by Eleanor Roosevelt- No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Truth is... I was letting people have that control, until I consciously decided they no longer had that ability.

May this leave you with a bit of hope that you truly have the power and control over the amount of happiness and joy enter your life (besides the occasional inevitable things). Only you have the power to rid the old and go seek the new! It may change your life forever!
Find what makes you happy and pursue it!

A year later.....

It is truly amazing how much things can change in a year.
We grow, gain new perspective, gain new friends and even loose some.

This past year has been one of the hardest year yet. I have come along way and have learned so much more about myself and what direction I want to go in.

I have learned that life is something precious but very easily taken for granted. It gets easy, in our busy routines, to put ourselves on cruise control and just go full speed ahead. We tend to miss certain signs and bypass important things.

This last year has taught me that I can't allow my fears to outweigh my faith. There were many, many times that I talked myself out of reality and was convinced of those "worst case scenarios". It was a very dark and lonely time.

Until now, when I can look back and say that what I thought was the "rock bottom" of pain, hurt and absolute destruction, was actually the biggest growing point in my life.

Easter is usually a very happy joyful time. Where pictures with the Easter Bunny are a must, Easter Egg Hunts are held all over town and is a great time to get together with those you love. This Easter, although I am much more content than last year, I am still saddened and left with a small empty space in my heart.

Last Easter, as many know, we lost our precious baby in a tragic miscarriage. I still get teary eyed thinking about the pain we endured.
I was truly amazed how many people cared about how I was doing. I truly could not have made it without all the support I had.

There is a place in my heart that will ALWAYS be empty from a second child that was supposed to fill it.

Now I don't want this to be a sob story, but possibly give a glimpse of hope. I lost a child on a day that symbolizes so many positive things. A day that represents the resurrection of Christ. This to me meant a new beginning and that it truly was. This to me has helped me heal and come to terms. Now it has taken me a year to get to this point and I am sure next year, I will have grown even more. Ever expecting a mother who has lost a child to "heal" is 100% not going to happen and if you think this, you may have never been through this pain. Although it may not be a consuming thought, it is still there in their hearts and still hurts.

The moral of this posting is to show that even though we have gone through something so terrible, doesn't mean my life is defined by my adversaries. I feel I have more love in my heart for my husband and child, I have a passion to finish nursing school and help others heal.

New beginnings and fresh starts aren't always a bad thing and could begin to show you who you really are and what your purpose is.
This Easter, I pray that you strive to be a better you, have a fresh start even and just live life to the fullest everyday because tomorrow certainly isn't promised.

I am doing much better. I am a stronger woman than I was a year ago, and I know this was the way it was supposed to go. Plus I figured out that writing is an amazing healing mechanism for me and I love my neglected blog so very much!

New endeavors

Not being able to write has just about drove me nuts. I have not had time to do much of anything in the blogging world, due to something that has changed my life, and will impact me for the rest of my life. This thing has wiggled its way into my social relationships, my interaction with my family and has caused a great deal of stress. This thing has sucked the money out of our accounts and will be the reason for years of debt.

Yup! You got it right! I got into NURSING SCHOOL!!!

I have been so busy getting prepared for school to start and now busy in school that my poor blog hasn't got any attention .

I'm so overjoyed to have such an awesome opportunity to start this new journey! I'm not seeing my family much. I'm not talking to friends a lot. And I'm not privileged with the 9:30 pm bedtime any more. But ya know, it WILL all be worth it. It's hard now. No, actually it's really hard now. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed just cause I focus on the bad. How I won't see my hubby much or my precious baby girl. How the only social interaction is basically panically emailing instructors for clarifications. But it will all be worth it.

I'm not only bettering my family in the future, I will ultimately come out on the other end, fulfilling my dreams!

I cannot BELIEVE how much support I have standing behind me, rooting for me and cheering me on. I am so blessed. So, so blessed.

To all of you who have been there, are there and will be there.. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. I'm no where near done, but with all this support, I will be successful!

So I'm not too sure when I will be able to write again. As much as I love it, I just don't have time.

For now, so long. Stay warm. Stay safe!

Bring it Nursing School!